so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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