There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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