The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
