He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
