i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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