You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
