At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
