The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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