last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
