I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
