i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
