I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
