I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
