The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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