why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
