You can't motorboat a personality
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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