it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
