I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
