ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
