I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
