well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This girl is more easily done than said...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
