Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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