Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
