note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
