He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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