so explain again why im purple
no
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
