wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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