then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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