You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
