Fuck appropriateness.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
