god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
