I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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