two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
