i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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