Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
