I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
