there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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