At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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