omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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