i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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