hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
