So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
