i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I still have a little drunk in my system
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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