I love black thongs
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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