Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
