I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
