considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
