Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
