You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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