I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
