Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
