Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
