i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
