I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he thought i was a dude.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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