If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
