the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh god it's open bar.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
