Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
