Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
